That scream you heard, if not felt, at approximately 11pm eastern time was CleverEuphemism dying on the inside by using his outside voice to alert the world.
After reading that article I couldn’t possibly piece together a coherent review of a movie. How could I? Clearly this is the end of days… or at least the end of the film industry as we know it. This is the end my friends, and we are all watching the celluloid burn frame by frame. In a way, we are all complicit.
Tastes like buuuuuuuurning. *Keels over, grabbing for stomach*
But to be honest, there have been other signs of this film apocalypse. Here I will show you some of the tell-tale signs we should have seen and acted upon much earlier.
Burning Bright is a film about a dad who buys a tiger, and decides to keep it in the basement of his house, which is always a genius idea. But then you add in a Katrina-like hurricane, and a developmentally challenged son, and a teenage daughter into the mix, well you get this:
Oh yeah….that trailer kills my already dead inside just a bit more.
Then we get this film C Me Dance. Yeah, you know this movie is in trouble when it uses “C” as word. But the odd thing is?... well, this movie seemingly has less to do with dancing than it does with crucifixion. No, really…
I have a feeling the devil character pulls it all together with his gibberish.
But truly this, this is the worst of all. Bad sci-fi storytelling mixed with bad graphics….
Hey… wait a minute….
Maybe things aren’t so bad after all. I mean, I could always just go back to watching the classics.
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