And when I say a few hours, I do mean a few hours. The boydude (I guess I can just refer to him as CleverEuphemism now or something. But that's a lot of letters), anyway he wants to get up at like, four in the morning before making the drive. I told him go for it but expect this for the ensuing twelve or so hours afterward:
As you know, hotel wifi costs an arm, a leg and several organs, you won't be hearing from me til about Thursday because Wednesday I'll be in some kind of Disney coma. So yeah, savor this post. SAAAAAVOOOORRRR IIIIIITTTTT. In the meantime, let's take a look at the neon 80's leather-clad monstrosity that is Streets of Fire.
I still haven't been able to figure out what the fable is. Possibly making sure you have a serious head wound before watching the movie
Ok so Streets of Fire is like Rent in that it is a rock-opera...thing, but not like Rent in that it doesn't make me weep gently in a corner and instead of being about the bohemian spirit or something stupid like that, it's about guns, fast cars, and Willem Dafoe dressing like the love child of Freddie Mercury and Eddie Munster:
And you hoped I was kidding.
But he is only a minor focus. From the director that brought us The Warriors and 48 Hours comes a story that follows Tom Cody, played Michael Pare. Tom's a shifty loner-type, who has come home to his dystopian neon 80's craphole of a city because his ex-girlfriend/rockstar Ellen Aim (played by Diane Lane) has been kidnapped in what is an admittedly awesome opener:
The songs are 80's-tastic but in the best way, like a Meatloaf soundtrack. It's pretty sweet. Less so is the random-ass storyline of Cody attempting to rescue his old flame from Dafoe's pale leather-daddy gang leader with the help of a doo-wop group, voice-actress E.G. Daily, and a sleazy Rick Moranis, to name a few.
It's all very stylized and very silly. It hits hard and fast doesn't waste time on superfluous things like "why is this character doing this? Who the hell is that? Why are they here now? Are those leather overalls? WTF?" The acting is cheesy but the songs are really awesome in an 80's anthem-y sort of way. It culminates in a final fight between Tom and Raven (that would be Dafoe) where it's not who wins that's important, but what's going on with Dafoe's face that is:
So check it out, you will have fun watching it, I promise. Streets of Fire rocks its way to two and a half catapults out of five. This is Sugary Cynic saying, "Yeah, that's totally Diane Lane singing" See ya in a few days!
Raven: "Well, it looks like I finally found someone who likes to play as rough as I do"