Monday, February 21, 2011

Paranormal Activity 2: Paranormal Harder

Hey, hey guys. I'm on Ron's blog today :D Read it if you want to learn about why Boy George and I are mortal enemies (I'd say it makes more sense in context but really, it doesn't).

Anyway. Remember this? Now there's this:

In found footage that no one really believes is found footage anymore, because, c'mon, for reals guys, Sugary Cynic decided that since the first Paranormal Activity was fun in a "nothing's happening, nothing's happening, nothing's happening, OHGODWHATTHEHELLWASTHAT??" sort of way, she might as well give the sequel a shot and watched it with her friend Jasmine. This is what was recovered:'s basically the first movie over again except the whiny chick is replaced with a whiny mom, the douchey dude is replaced with...a douchey dude and for good measure they toss in a cute baby, a plucky teenage girl, a faithful dog and a magical maid/nanny. Yep, it's a sequel all right. Well, technically it's a prequel, supposed to sort of explain the events of the first. See the mom of this family is Eventual Demon Meat-Puppet From The First Movie Kate's sister, Kristi. The good news: She just had a baby boy named Hunter. The bad news: Ghostly demon bitches want in her house.

I'd watch it

So yeah, spooky things abound as stuff gets set on fire, pans fall and pool equipment does not behave how one would expect pool equipment to. Jasmine and I began the movie in the same skeptical state me and Jon did the first time around. We were veterans of the first film, what could they possibly surprise us with?:

And then of course, things began to escalate. Shadows appeared, doors opened and slammed shut, and the family achieved levels of denial previously unheard of.

*Shit moves around on its own accord*

Teen: "AAAH! What's going on?"

Mom: "It's just the wind, honey"

Teen: "But the baby's eyes are glowing red and he's dancing on the ceiling"

Mom: "Yup, just the wind"

Slowly, as you get sucked into the random inanities of this upper-middle class suburban family, the tension begins to ratchet up...

Then things start to get really messed up. This demon ain't kidding around. After he violates the "don't hurt the dog" rule and makes children's toys even creepier than they are on their own, you know shit's gettin' real. Even this dipstick of a family begins to realize as the mom gets dragged into the basement that all is not well within the household.

At this point, all hell is breaking loose and Jasmine and I are clutching our knees in mild terror. Then the magical ethnic nanny comes back to save the day! Yay Ethnic Nanny! But what about the events of the first film? How does that affect this story. Well, the movie's final scene explains that. And it is terrifying. Like:

You win again, Paranormal Activity. *Shakes fist* The plot is stupid and contrived, the characters are annoying, apart from the cute baby, and the movie uses a lot of the same tricks as the first one to scare you. The thing is, those tricks work and at the end of the movie I was, well, you see the picture. Paranormal Activity 2 is pretty decent for a sequel and scores three pants-wees out of five.

Sugary Cynic was later found hiding under her desk, clutching her Totoro pillow and yelling "Don't judge meeeeeeee...'Night!"

Jasmine: "Oh my god! Why can't you people stay away from the goddamn basement?! It's not hard, just don't open the freaking door!"


  1. I wasn't too impressed with the first one, all the hype and people telling me they didn't sleep for weeks after. The only bit that got me was the ending and I did hide behind the pillow for that one - the rest of it was like "Oh come on - please give me something worth gripping the edge of my seat for". I'm still in two minds about this one but just because you've got my curiosity going I think I will put it onto my watch list.

  2. Cure yourselves. Watch Mulan. Preferably with your most special friend.

  3. I skipped the first one because contrived fright nights irritate me, so the 2nd one wasn't on my radar. However, my question has always been...why do the idiot (and seemingly coincidentally BLONDE) cheerleaders ALWAYS run UP the stairs?? Nothing good ever happens upstairs... =)

    Nice job again Ms Sugary, but this time I think I'll still skip the movies. =)

  4. SJ: Oh yeah, I'd never classify this as pants-wettingly scary. I mean really. But it is fun!

    Simon: I generally only watch Mulan with special friends

    Jewell: Eh, different strokes for different folks, etc etc. And the cheerleaders run upstairs because movies are no fun without some good ol' eviscerated cheerleader. Obviously.

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