The Oscars, also known as Hollywood's Wank. Well, known as by me anyway. Shut up. The Oscars are stupid because any nerd worth their salt can tell you the outcome ages ahead of time and there's all this pomp and ceremony and painfully unfunny gags and hosts who may be funny on their own but have to neuter their humor until it lies weeping in a corner. It's just not fun.
But I'm still going to blog about them when they happen because snark is the only thing keeping me alive right now that's not caffeine. And now that every other blog on the planet has mentioned the Oscars I suppose it's my turn. Here's my rundown (excluding things I don't give a crap about like best documentary or best sound editing or best make-up, because those are boring and also being blithely dickish is one of the perks of the internet)
Who I want to win: Tough call, lotta awesome movies this year. I'm kind of torn between Black Swan and maybe Inception. Both kicked ass. But then I'd like Toy Story to win only because everyone ever would collectively poop their pants.
Who will win: The King's Speech. Because he's a British underdog with a stutter. No, but seriously, that's who it's going to. I have a track record, go check last year's.
Who I want: Darren Aronofsky. Because it would be about time, really. Although I'd be good with David Fincher too. Although that's less about the Social Network and more about the fact that I like David Fincher
Who will: Probably David Fincher
Who I want: Jeff Bridges. I know, he's not gonna get it cuz he won it last year but he was so damn fantastic in True Grit I want him to win again. Forever. Honorary Oscar For Life. And inscribe it as belonging to The Dude.
Who will: Colin Firth, for reasons, see Best Picture comments. Also it's Colin Firth.
Best Supporting Actor
Who I want: Irrelevant. It will be Christian Bale
Who w-CHRISTIAN BALE. Seriously, he looks like a frantic crack addict, they only put other names on the list out of courtesy.
Who I want: Well, the only one of these I saw was Black Swan, and Natalie Portman was pretty good at being pretty crazy
Who will: Hard to tell, dunno about Nicole Kidman but Rabbit Hole has been getting a lot of praise but so has Winter's Bone. I'm gonna say Jennifer Lawrence from Winter's Bone then. But it's basically a guess.
Best Supporting Actress
HAILEE STEINFELD EVER FOREVER,YOU TWITS. That kid made True Grit. She's got it locked and if she loses then that means there is no God. Or Chuck Norris.
Best Animated Feature
Only three categories, but they're all great. I need to see the Illusionist!! Anyway, no split here. I kind of want How To Train Your Dragon to win but Toy Story 3 is Toy Story 3 and also Pixar so it will win easily. And it was a pretty amazing movie too.
Best Original Screenplay
What I want: Inception. It was original and awesome and glorious and Christopher Nolan.
What will: Probably the damn King's Speech again, it's this year's Hurt Locker
Best Adapted Screenplay
What I want: True Griiiiiiiit!!! "I do not know this man"
What will: The Social Network aka "Oh Aaron Sorkin, your words make me feel funny in my swimsuit area, please write more words! Can I touch your face? How about a lock of your hair?"
Best Art Direction
What I want: "hi, my name is Sugary Cynic and I am a Christopher Nolan fangirl"
What will: Hopefully Inception. I feel like it might. God I hope Alice in Wonderland doesn't.
What I want: Pretty much my favorite thing about Black Swan
What will: I'm gonna say it's a toss up between Inception and Black Swan
Best Costume Design:
What I want: Don't really know. The True Grit ones were pretty good. I haven't seen The Tempest but the costumes look neat in the trailer
What will: I'm gonna say The Tempest. Because usually a Queen Elizabeth derivative wins this and since there isn't one this year, a movie that at least contains Helen Mirren is the next best thing
Best Original Score
Who I want: If you don't know by now the joy that John Powell's score from How To Train Your Dragon brings to my heart, then you don't know me at all
Who will: Most likely Hans Zimmer for Inception, which was admittedly a good score, though personally I thought Sherlock Holmes was better.
Best Visual Effects
Who I want: INCEPTION. I mean really, people
Who will: See above. And then slap yourself for being stupid
And those are all the ones I care about. This is Sugary Cynic, who neglected to mention earlier that sleep deprivation can make her hella bitchy. 'Night!
(Talking about the Great Potato Famine in class)
Ashley: "So, the Irish were kind of mad at England for not doing anything to help. I mean, they did a little...but not enough to stop people from starving to death...for five years"