Sunday, February 20, 2011

I Am Not A Mature Person

I'M BACK! And before I do anything else I want to give a giant super-special-sickeningly-awesome thank you to Noli, Jacob, Manda, Lisa, Brent, Unwashed and Simon. You guys rocked my world and made it a GUESTAPALOOZA to remember!

And now, on to less pleasant things. Ok, so I frequent the entertainingly-named blog If I Had A Blog, run by Ron because he is a funny and awesome dude. He's been running some guest posts recently too. The other day, Alejandro, who can be found on his blog and occasionally lurking in my comments section, did a cute post on parenthood and in the comments section was a random, unrelated spam of an anonymous dude telling people to check out his blog, Boycott American Women (I'm not putting the link, it's on Ron's blog still and is easy enough to type in). He goes on to describe American women as the lowest, bottom of the barrel worst things ever. We're fat, we cheat, we lie and we divorce you. Clearly we are the great Satan. Now, Ron did a wonderful rebuttal post exposing this jerk as the tool he is, but still maintaining maturity and emphasizing this d-bag's right to free speech.

I am not as mature.

This anonymous ass-bag probably hasn't the felt the touch of a woman not made of rubber since I've been alive. He runs a blog that calls American women whores and parasites. Don't get me wrong, I see chicks like Paris Hilton and I get embarrassed about being an American sometimes. But I will NEVER be embarrassed about being a woman and this sad, useless fucker is a generalizing, stereotyping example of a walking wank-stain. And he's apparently been making his way to other blogs and has accumulated a fairly high hit-count.

Hey you worthless waste of air, if you're gonna be a dickhole, have the balls to put a name to your whacked-out bullshit. It's not the fault of American women or ANY WOMEN that you couldn't get a date if you paid a million dollars for it. You wanna boycott American women? Fine, in fact I thank you on behalf of American women everywhere for removing yourself from the gene pool. But you wanna spew your sad shit on the internet? PATHETIC.

I call upon the darkest reaches of my readers. The ones who, like me, are not bound by such notions as "maturity" or "sophisticated adult behavior." Spam this ass-tard. Let's see if he can take what he can dish out. If he thinks it's ok to go to random people's blogs and peddle his crap, let's at least send some back his way. He's too much of a pussy bitch to have an open comments section (Oh I see, he can go on to other people's blogs and state his views but we can't do the same to him?) But there's gonna be some people reading this more technical-minded than me but just as pissed off. Think of something. This is your job now.

Maybe it'd better if we just ignored him, maybe then he'd fade away. Admittedly, that's probably the wisest approach. But I never claimed to be wise. I do openly admit to being mad as hell. Don't let this slimebag continue without making his life a little more difficult.



  1. Let the hate flow through you, padawan...

    Oh, please send me. :)

  2. What a useless individual he must be to go around posting such stuff...and I had people 'hiding'. Good for you, Megan...Let's get him!

  3. Yay! It's a free fire zone! (warning: this comment contains descritptions of acts of shocking violence and adult language).

    Mister Anonymous, allow me to retort!

    You are a pathetic fucktard who couldn't attract a date with duct tape and a knife. Any self respecting woman would throw herself off a bridge and laugh all the way down, rather then knowingly be caught on the same side of the street as your bumbling shit stained ass.

    You sir, are the strongest argument for late term abortion yet presented. Like say allowing them in the 120th trimester; if my friend's guess on your age is correct.

    Good people in this country worked for centuries to get involuntary commitment to mental hospitals outlawed and you just undid their entire argument.

    You clearly tried to blow your own head off, but ended up missing. Now you inflict humanity with your brainstem powered intellect, unable or unwilling to finish the job properly.

    The pathetic fungi that allowed you internet access should suffer the same fate as you do; which is to be drowned in the collective run-off of a donkey breeding operation.

    But it is not all bad.

    Your existense has reinvigorated my respect and adoration for the females of our species. Clearly, they are able to recognize and avoid the most dire of threats to the human race, namely you Mr. Anonymous.

    As a man, I can only apologize to American women for the failures of my bretheren and me. That we failed to hunt you down and leave your remains spread across several jurisdictions speaks poorly of our own obligations to the species.

    But rest assured Mr. Anonymous, nature does have a way of correcting her wrongs. Your commuppence will undoubtedly involve hand lotion, fast food grease, and high voltage. The entire human race can then witness and rejoice at the blossoming cloud of flame that announces our planet's cleansing.

    My only additional hope at that point will be that scientists find a way to harness the energy from your flaming, corpulant mass. Maybe they could use it to power hair dryers in beauty salons coast to coast. In this way you could at least provide some small atonement for your existence.

    The views expressed in this comment are mine and mine alone. I do not condone of support mob violence (unless someone gets a fix on this fucker, then call me up)...:)

  4. Hi from the lurker with that blog... I just would like to raise a glaas to Megan. Also I'd like to say WTF!!!!!! Paul? You are now my hero of the first order in giving abuse in such a subtle way. SO to conclude I'd like to say what Paul says with an added fuckwit thrown in.

    Cheers A

  5. I have no intentions of going to his blog and reading it nor do i want to give him the delight of getting many more readerships through all the postings about him. Be it in his or not his favor!
    He does not deserve my time nor energy!

  6. YogaSavy has the right of it. Sending more people to his blog for any reason is just giving more attention than what is deserved. Better to just laugh it off and ignore it without giving more ground for him to stand on.

    But I will say this: I think women in general probably boycotted his ass a long time ago. So him boycotting American women is like quitting a job after you got fired from it.

    At least he's eliminated his chances of contributing back into the gene pool. Well played, sir.

  7. Oh - My - Gawd! Sugary...I laugh at your posts frequently, but this? This is fucking stellar, brilliant, and fantastically juvenile!!!! =) LOLOL

    I threw the worthless fuck in my spam folder! =) If someone wants to spew hate in the comments on my blog, then it has to be aimed directly at me not my gender and geographically specific species! =)

    Paul...I can't decide as a strong, vital American woman if I should show my independence and bow, or find some southern belle style manners and curtsy but your comment rebuttal was fantastic! =)

    This has absolutely been my favorite post of all time! =) Well done!

  8. Jewell, Thank you ma'am, for noticing my small part to Sugary's awesome smackfest! I am glad you found it worthy.

    AG, subtle was my goal...:0)

    Many thanks again to Sugary for providing the forum for such unhinged fun!

  9. Brush it off and don't worry about him. If you ignore him, he'll go away

  10. Sugary - Well done! You use much better adjectives than me. I also disagree with Ameer. Ignoring things hoping they'll go denial. Posts like ours can and will start pushing his blog out of sight on SE's, and the more people that read yours the better. Anyway, I've never been an "Ignore it" kind of person. Great job kiddo!

    Oh, and Paul...Tell me how you really feel ;)

  11. "I think women in general probably boycotted his ass a long time ago. So him boycotting American women is like quitting a job after you got fired from it."

    Jacob just had me laughing so hard I dropped my keyboard.

    Do you think we could get Paris Hilton to have a conversation with Mr. Anonymous? Maybe his head will explode and rid the internet of him in a comedic post that will forever be the most recent on his hate-mongering blog. And that may be an example of poetic justice, but I'm not a lit major so I don't know.

  12. Oh, sweetie poo bear. This douchenozzelsaurus shall get his comeuppance, whether through our more technologically-inclined brethren or by an angry firewoman or some such. But I'm afraid I can't join in the festivities. I'm very immature, but I live through one code and one code only: Calm down. Call Batman.


  13. Jacob: Sic him, lol!

    Corinne: Seriously, what a butt

    Paul: *high-five*

    Alejandro: Oooh, fuckwit, I like that one

    Yoga: We already chatted on fb but I'll just say again for continuity's sake (lol) that I know it's crap and it's better to just ignore it but it just made me so incensed that I had to get it out and that's what this blog is for when not being sarcastic about movies lol

    Jacob: You gotta appreciate the little victories like that

    Jewell: Thanks, that dude's such an ass, glad you liked

    Ameer: I know, I know, :p

    Ron: You and me both dude, and yay for calling this douche out on your blog as well

    Brenda: Yeah, that'll do it lol

    Simon: I want that on a shirt: "Keep Calm and Call Batman"

  14. DUDE I'm starting a T-shirt business that I'll never actually do anything with because I'm lazy, but if I did, that would be my number one seller. And the Team Tesla one.


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