Monday, February 14, 2011

Guestapalooza Day 2: Valentine RAGE and Saint Connery

A couple things first: One, if you couldn't read the guest comic yesterday, it has been fixed so be sure to go and check it out, and also, sorry this is getting put up so late in the day, woke up late, class, etc. (Cursed real life!)

Anyway, I am learning all kinds of things about putting together guest weeks and organizing and formatting and blahblahblah. Most recently, I learned that if someone who has been very vocally bitter about romantic things on their blog says "ooh! Gimmee Valentine's Day, I wanna do Valentine's Day!" I should probably be more suspicious. And thus do we have Jacob's guest post (and yes I ignored your title suggestion because I felt like it, such is life). Jacob has been busy doing whatever it is he does in the darkest reaches of Texas but has recently gotten back in the blogging saddle over at e-Loumination and if ranting's not your thing, he's got some sweet music pages up there too now. Gird your loins people, Jacob's pissed about V-Day:

Howdy, folks! This here's Jacob Lewis (aka "the Louminator"), stopping by on my world tour for e-Loumination. Yes, that's my blog. I just pimped myself. What about it? I'm not going to impose on my host to make sure she does that for me. Hell, that's kinda rude! So, you know... you're welcome.

Anyway. I volunteered some time ago to do a guest blog here so the young cynic can take the week off, and like any true procrastinator, I waited until the last possible minute to make her squirm over it. Because that's what friends are for.

I chose Valentine's day specifically because its a very special day. Its a day for candies and sweetness, for confessing true feelings and being honest with each other. Its a day for tearing down those emotional walls and breaking down the barriers that we allow to come between us. They only hurt us in the end, you know. Keeping us apart. Its the one day that I can express my true feelings and not get laughed for it. Because that's what Valentine's is all about. That, and getting laid for a box of candy. So here goes...

I haven't been laid in months! My ex dumped me one year ago on this day. She's going to marry this fucking idiot who she dumped ten years ago when we met. Online dating is only good for amusing yourself with overly-guarded and mostly stupid women who have no clue what they want. Love is dumb. I hate Valentine's Day! Have some fucking candy.

(I cannot wait to read the disclaimer she adds to this when she posts it.)

But I do love Sugary Cynicism, no matter what day it is. Its sweet, its cynical.. what's not to love about it? I like movies, and cartoons, and bands, and Mystery-ST3K. Its a perfect match for me! But that doesn't change the fact that its still Valentine's Day. Or does it?

I'm officially changing this holiday to something far more enjoyable (and much more thematic), like Saint Connery's Day! As we all know, Sir Connery is the scottish madman of love when it comes to wooing the ladies. Check out the picture over here. It makes perfect sense. I don't even need to explain it, really. Sean-fucking-Connery. I know he's only a knight, but someone needs to make him a saint already. Wait a minute! I think I just did.

And just so you know, I don't go around being a guest on anyone's blogs just because they ask me to. (Alright, she didn't ask me directly, but she didn't say no when I offered. That still counts!) I generally keep up with only a few blogs from some personal friends, but I always come around to see what the Sugary Cynic is up to. Never been disappointed yet. Maybe its because she's always being true to herself, never compromising or making apologies for who she is and letting that show here on her page. That's why I am in lesbian with her blog.

I mean, lesbians! Ah, crap... I screwed that up.


Happy Bloggaversary on St. Connery's Day!


Well, I can't stay annoyed at someone if they end on a Scott Pilgrim reference and nominate Sean Connery for sainthood. So, I suppose we made it through this guest post with the friendship intact. And just cuz I can, some V-day happenings of my own, including the greatest candy hearts ever:


What is? The STD test? That those pants make you look fat?


This one raises more questions than can ever hope to be answered

and the greatest card of all time:

Yes, that blood-soaked bunny is screaming "LOVE ME!" ...Gina is a scary girl.

Happy Valentine's Day!

6 comments:

  1. Brilliant post! Glad you got this day no one could do it better justice! WTG And I'll be drinking a martini in honor of St. Connery day! Cheers!

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  2. Thanks! See that? People love me when I hate. :)

    I kinda like the new title, too. Well done!

    Oh, and I had enough rage left over to blog on my own page as well. I'm actually starting to regret that this day only comes once a year. It just brings out the best in me. And my blogs. ;)

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  3. Maybe Im a Lesbian!? Scratches head...cocks an Eye Brow...Uhhhh...Nope not a Lesbian I just said COCKS....LOL!

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  4. Bravo, sir. And 'It's true' should always be followed by 'your face'.

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  5. Thank you, confused lesbian and the walking crouton. Don't spoil my SC-Box achievement with more comments. :P

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