Wednesday, January 12, 2011

I Can Change Baby, For Reals/Spooky Story

So...updates have kind of sucked, huh? It's just been tough getting back into my academic groove, getting shit together for graduation, having a boy-person, and also babysitting Buffy the Vampire Slayer and The Dread Pirate Roberts again. By the end of the day, I am tired and lazyful and the blog loses priority.

Hopefully, when I get back into the swing of stuff and whatnot, things will suck less. In the meantime, I've been dabbling with some spooky writingness. Here's a more recent one, I'm still not quite happy with it, though:

His Hungry Eyes

You have to be quiet. So, so quiet, or else he’ll hear you and he won’t come. Come closer, over here, hide behind this, you can see through this hole here. Quiet!

On nights so dark that even the stars are afraid to come out, on nights where you can’t see your hand in front of your face, even when you wiggle all your fingers, on nights when the dead could be right behind you, breathing so softly, skulls a dim white in the deep darkness, that you’d never know they were there, that’s when he comes out. That’s when he walks where they say he walked so many years ago; before you, before me, before your father and maybe even before your grandfather.

Don’t look at me like that! It’s true, I’ve seen him. I swear I have. Remember the night I snuck out? I went to the kitchens because I was hungry, they didn’t give me dinner that night because they figured out I put the pin on the headmaster’s chair. I was walking back down this hall, when all the lights blew out, faster than you could blink. I couldn’t see a thing. No sight, no sound. Not so much as a rustle or a sigh. For all I knew, I was the only person left in the world.

And then I saw him.

I knew it was him, I’d heard the stories. He was small, smaller than I thought he would be. And not like you’d think, like horror movie rotting flesh stuff…he was bright, I think that’s how I saw him in the dark. And clear, you could almost see right through him, but he was blurred, wrong and warped almost, like an old photograph. The air around him was strange too. It floated and swam like he was surrounded by water. But what I remember the most were his eyes. They weren’t like anything. They were black, blacker than the night around us right now. But they weren’t empty, they were filled, filled to the brim with this horrible longing, I felt like if I looked into them too long I’d disappear. I only saw him for a second, but it was the longest second of my life. Then, from some place in me I didn’t even know was there, I screamed. And he vanished, like a nightmare.

I had to see him again.

But I couldn’t do it alone, not twice, not with those hungry eyes waiting for me. So I brought you. You’re different, I can tell. I’m good at being able to spot the different ones. You notice things that others don’t so I was sure if I brought you, you’d see him too. We just need to wait a little longer, it’s almost exactly the same time as before. Keep looking through the hole and no matter what, don’t make a sound. Wait…here he comes! Here he comes! Look! Stay quiet, stay hidden.

Don’t blink.

(photo found here)


  1. ...That very last line made me think of Doctor Who.

  2. That very last line gave me the creeps!

  3. Are you allowed to be critical? Or polite?

    So tell me Megan... and when I come back when it's dark I shall tell you the truth to the tale.

    The last line made me think... Whomever is talking and for so long, it's too late!

    I'll be back if you let me to tell you what else.
    P.S. I'm no writer but I do no writing

  4. This was wonderful! The first sentence instantly reminded me of when my son was young. I always had a difficult time getting him to take a nap. So, I started laying down with him across the bed and would lightly scratch the wood on the bed. When he would look at me with his big brown eyes and ask me "what's that!" I would reply..."it's the sleepy monster and if he comes by and your eyes aren't closed, he's gonna get ya!" Needless to say, it wouldn't take him long to fall asleep. I sure am glad, thirteen years later, that it didn't leave detrimental marks.
    Great story!

  5. All those secrets in those deep dark eyes...
    You must have had a blast writing this. Do you submit your work for publication elsewhere?

  6. An alien encounter of the first kind....

  7. All right! In my opinion this is very good because you have kept the audience's attention by allowing their imagination to run wild with suspense. As far as critic, all I can say is that I would have built up towards the climax more; for example using the power of alliteration to further evoke the climax such as how Edgar Allan Poe did in the Raven. So, if I were grading it or something I'd give it a B.

  8. Yo. Yo. Creepy-ass. Yo.


  9. Was this in any way inspired by watching "The Devil's Backbone"?

    I liked it. Atmospheric.

    And was it a deliberate Doctor Who reference at the end?

  10. Rachael: Coincidence, I'm afraid.

    SJ: Awesome :D

    Alejandro: I post these to receive criticism, go for it

    Mary: Ha, that would do it!

    Debra: No, I wouldn't know where to begin, or more importantly, where to submit it to

    Jim: *cues up Twilight Zone theme*

    Cheryl: Any chance of extra credit?

    Simon: lol, thanks yo. Oh my goodgodjesus girl, his name is Ryan, he has no hunch that I have noticed and I'm not sure how Beiber-rating works. Does it convert to metric?

    Unwashed: Obviously so XD glad you dig it, and I've never watched Dr. Who, so no.


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