Some days people are just funny:
(After having a Kurt Vonnegut short story described to her about a sexless world where some dude runs around "awakening" women by having sometimes-forced sex with them)
Ashley: "I can deal with misogyny and guy's being all like 'I got knowledge in my head cuz I am so smart' and stuff! But I draw the line here! YOU DON'T DISPENSE KNOWLEDGE WITH YOUR PENIS!!"
(Talking about driving around in Ashley's car, unable to put the top up)
Zeke: "So it started raining and we were in traffic and stuff so we just held up Ashley's umbrella. We went though the drive-thru like that"
(The new Math for Liberal Arts professor)
Professor: "I want you to love math, to let it into your HEART. There's love in math, there's LOVE, and I want you to find it"
(Ryan plays goalie for a hockey team made up of terrifying butch lesbian women)
Ryan: "Well, I'm off to go beat women senseless"
(As I jumped on top of Zeke who was on the couch)
Me: "Why the hell would I yell grape when attacking you?"
*several minutes later, Zeke tries to tackle me*
Me: "So since Ke$ha basically called Ryan Seacrest a douchebag to his face, I have gained a modicum of respect for her"
Me: "Don't get me wrong, she still looks like she's harboring every STD ever"
Zeke: "Yeah, but she's helpful to science. If not in Ke$ha, where else would we keep them all?"
(My postmodern professor from last year, in my 21st century fiction class)
Professor: "And of course, late work will not be tolerated so..."
*pause as his chair starts rolling*
Professor: "I have a roll-y chair!!!"
Professor: "So it's just so cool because this is literature that is happening right now, it's-OHMIGOD LOOK, SHE'S WEARING RAINBOW SHOES!" (frantic pointing to girl in the front row)
(and later still)
Professor: "So go around the room and say your name, major and one interesting thing about yourself. This one time one of my students told me he was from Sweden and I was like 'no one's from Sweden, you're obviously lying!'"
Professor: "You have to be fun and work hard in this class. Nikki over there, she's not fun, but she works hard so it's ok. I mock you because I love you guys. And you are all my children"
I think it's gonna be a fun semester