Monday, December 13, 2010

Thesis Wars II: The Thesis Strikes Back

A long time ago (earlier today), in a galaxy that's right around the corner if you take the first left at the light,

Sugary Cynic was once again attempting to work on her college thesis and, once again, failing to focus long enough to actually get anything done. Also, new banner quote!

She sought to place the blame on the Rebel Alliance, but really it was her crippling addiction to Angry Birds that was doing it.

They're just...so angry


Cynic then abandoned trying to imitate the Star Wars text crawl when it became too much of a pain in the ass and didn't look that great anyways. She did however, continue to refer to herself in the third person because it is on her checklist of megalomania, which, apart from pyromania, is her favorite mania.

He had it coming

Yes, this is the only way to follow a blog post that attempted to be deep, insightful, etc: with rambling, angry birds and lighting bikes on fire

I blame thesis. Not for the lighting stuff on fire part, that's all me. But everything else is thesis's fault. Because it is evil and making me dislike things I enjoy, like Watchmen and Romanticist poetry (yes, my thesis is kind of on a weird topic). But yeah, rage and whatnot. 3am rage, anyway.

One quick thing though before I go smack my head against a wall until I learn how to write fifty pages in an hour (that's how knowledge acquisition works, right?) there's something we MUST discuss, namely, comic book crossovers, a temporary merging of unlike universes. Sometimes they are totally awesome, like there's a Hellboy and Batman crossover comic so cool it makes your eyes bleed just by standing near it. And then sometimes you get Batman fighting Dracula. No, it is not as good as it sounds. And then, every now and again you get a comic crossover the likes of which the universe has never seen:

Do not attempt to adjust your monitor

That's right, Transformers meets Star Trek meets GI Joe meets flippin' GHOSTBUSTERS.

I don't understand it, but I want it. I want to see Kirk, Optimus Prime, Peter Venkman and Snake Eyes kick the shit out of, if the rotting hand on the cover is any indication, ZOMBIES. Even if this ends up being the worst thing ever, I still need to have it. It comes out in January, who wants to give me a late Christmas gift? The gift of batshit crazy, which as we all know is the gift that keeps on giving.

This is Sugary Cynic, trying to write thesis but unable to stop thinking about Ray Stantz tooling around in Bumblebee with Spock riding shotgun and Duke hanging out of the sunroof. 'Night!

(My brother's friends are over)

Me: "What are those little hellions up to?"

Mom: "They're watching some movie called The Human Centipede"

Me: "...What? Really? Agh, why would anyone want to watch that?"

Mom: "What is it?"

Me: "You don't know? ...um, it's gross..."

Mom: (waiting expectantly)

Me: "Ok, so it's like, this no-budget horror movie where some teens or something go to the woods and get kidnapped by this mad scientist dude who, for whatever reason, decides to sew them all together, ass to mouth. Hence, Human Centipede"

Mom: (silent horror)

Me: "I told you it was gross"

Mom: "...Are there like, pictures you could look up of it?"

Me: "NO."

6 comments:

  1. I TOTALLY KNOW THE BANNER QUOTE. OHMYLORD PICK ME PICK ME. I DON'T KNOW IF THERE ARE RULES TO GUESSING THIS SHIT BUT I DISREGARD YOU AND SUCH PUNY LAWS.

    It's from The Iron Giant. 8D Hogarth says it to Dean. And now I want to watch that movie and it's 3:21 dammit. Now I hate you.

    HEY FOUR DAYS TILL BLACK SWAN YAY.

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  2. I was gonna say the Iron Giant! Top film.

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  3. Iron Giant, but FUCK YOU ALL!

    Are there zombies in said four-way crossover awesomesauce? Because otherwise, I just can;t get excited about it.

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  4. I'm afraid this cross-over combination is way over my head, but I agree, if your going to do it...do it with Zombies.

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  5. Rachael: Lay off the stimulants, child. You won, it's ok lol. Also, YES BLACK SWAN!!!

    Unwashed: Such a great movie, one of my fave's

    Simon: (shrug) I'm just going off that decomposing hand on the cover.

    Ron: "if your going to do it...do it with Zombies"

    I am putting that on a t-shirt, dammit

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  6. Me want trek crossover.....@_@........My inner nerd just screamed orgasmic....

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