Friday, December 10, 2010

Talking Babies, Blog Hijackery, Robo-boxing and Thor...Draw Your Own Conclusions

Truly I am the queen of overly wordy titles. THE QUEEN, I SAY!!

So before you read today's post, go ahead and pop over to my blog-buddy-person Ron's blog, If I Had A Blog, because it's his b-day and he not-so-wisely gave the keys to his blog over to The Widow Lady to make guest posts and we teamed up to give him a dose of badly-drawn rhyming insanity a surprise gift.

Bwahaha and such.

Moving on! The teaser trailer for Thor has hit the interwebs! Um, revel in it or somesuch:



Um, yeah not sure what to make of that. I like that they're keeping the SHIELD dude from the first Iron Man movie around for in-universe continuity, but I'm a geek and I like things like that. Also I like Anthony Hopkins as Odin. I would watch a movie that was just Odin's Badass Adventures starring Anthony Hopkins. Oh well. The guy playing Thor looks ok, but really only just. If he can string two sentences together he'll be decent. I wish we got some more looks at Loki because that character is kind of important as to whether Thor will suck or not. Next trailer, I guess.

In other news, remember that commercial where the cute baby talked about stocks and it was funny and then they added a bunch of other babies and it got annoying as hell?



Well now it's gonna be a movie. Yep. Because that is a wise investment sure to turn a terrific profit! Just ask the guys on the Geico Caveman show!

Oh wait, that tanked


Well, at least they can be assured that the public loves talking baby movies!


Wrong again. Also, Christopher Lloyd is making that awful come-hither face again...


I feel like if this picture and that Day of the Dolphin movie poster had a baby, it would be the best pictorial representation of this blog

So anyway, the short version: things based on commercials suck, and things based on talking babies also suck. This movie will be both those things. And also directed by the guy responsible for this festering pile of shit:

People have been saying "Hollywood's out of ideas" for ages. I'm starting to think they might be on to something

So yeah. But I'd hate to leave you on such a depressing note, so here's the teaser trailer for a new Hugh Jackman film called Real Steel about, wait for it, ROBO-BOXING BATTLES:



Drink it in. It's like the wet dream of every nerd who wanted to build a life-size death machine for their robotics tournament. It's like Transformers, but without all the things that make Transformers suck. Like jive-talking robots. Yes, robots are best when they are silent, beating the crap out of each other, and in the vicinity of Hugh Jackman.

At least it'll more fun than the baby movie.

This is Sugary Cynic, prepping for a Robo-Rumble and keeping a heads-up for falling Thors (the weatherman said there was a fifty percent chance) 'Night!

(While shopping at Pier One)

*phone rings*

Clerk: (yelling, not answering the phone) "WHO DAT?"

6 comments:

  1. Also, "Real Steel" is based on an old 'Twilight Zone' episode (VERY loosely based I must add) so it has that going for it.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb6U938auvg

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...was that a Sean Connery cameo?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sadly, no one else has given us the keys to their blog...could we be put in prison for serial murdering the english language and art? It is worth a shot...I call dibs on being LECTER!! *makes icky slurping sounds*

    Christopher Lloyd really needs to stop making that face...seriously...We need a top ten list of people who should NEVER make a come hither face, and he is already number 1!

    Thank you for the insanity of Ron's blog! I had the BEST time!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Sugary - I just stopped by to say thank you! I would have been here sooner, but I was busy cleaning up pie crumbs.

    "Real Steel"?...was Rockem Sockem Robots taken?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Trailer 1: Oh, yeah, Natalie Portman's in that...GAH I WANT TO SEE BLACK SWAN GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

    Well, at least these movies are starting to acknowledge that their superheroes are petulant little turds.

    Trailer 2: What's with movies lately having really stupid/weed-induced/12-year-old-wet-dream concepts and making them into literal and serious things? Damn.

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  6. Toots: Huh, and here I thought I'd seen just about all of the Twilight Zone episodes. Missed that one somehow. Thanks for the link!

    Noli: (looks around) Where?

    Widow: After helping you deface Ron's blog with awesome, I know better than to give you the opportunity to wrest control of this one lol

    Ron: Yeah, sorry about the mess, I swear that lamp was broken when we got there! Also is it wrong that I would watch a movie called Rockem Sockem Robots?

    Simon: I know, we all want to see Black Swan, some of us slightly more than others

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