Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Pirates, Tates and Teen Paranormal Romance

Hey guys! So Rachael won the banner quote by correctly (if spazzedly) choosing The Iron Giant, which the best movie about Iron or Giants ever. Claim your prize!!

Moving on! UGH and such. I was not happy at the thought of a fourth Pirates of the Caribbean movie. The second and third ones seemed so far away, quality-wise, from the first one, and to make matters worse the fourth film would have a different director and focus solely on Jack Sparrow. While, admittedly, Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley aren't exactly actors you'd miss, they were still a part of the series and the ensemble and I feel like a large part of Jack Sparrow's charm was as a meddling side-kick turned accidental-hero. He's just not as fun when he's supposed to be our hero.

So anyway, sum up: I had been very much "No" on POTC 4. And now there's a trailer:

Good: Jack Sparrow remains as charming a bastard as ever. Geoffrey Rush is back! Hi, Geoffrey Rush! Also Gibbs! (waves frantically). Ooh, he's going to London. And Barbossa is a member of the Navy? AWESOME.

Bad: Jack's Daddy is stupid. I don't care if he is Keith Richards. Also it seems as though mermaid chick and random dude #3 are the new Will and Elizabeth. And Blackbeard looks stupid. And the fountain of youth is stupid.

WTF: ZOMBIES. Just, zombies.

I...I might go see it. Maybe. Damn epic pirate music making me feel like a naive thirteen year old fangirl again. Curse you, Hans Zimmer!! Curse you!!

"Oh, I'm sorry, were you saying something? I couldn't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am"

Anyway, as a loose segue, Hans Zimmer also did the music for another pirate-movie, Muppet Treasure Island, which me and my brother re-watched after not having seen it since we were little kids. This is the movie that made me love pirates and also Tim Curry. That too. I was surprised that it really held up for me as a good movie. Generally, revisiting your childhood favorites leads to only pain and mental anguish as you realize how awful the stuff you dug as a kid really is, but Muppets was still awesome. There were a bunch of jokes that flew over our heads as kids and it's filled with danger and mild swearing and death and the humor is sharp and devoid of pop culture references. Hell yeah, Muppets!

My two favorite songs:

Cabin Fever, in which all the characters temporarily flip a shit:

And Professional Pirate, because how long has it been since Tim Curry looked that good? It's sad.

Who wouldn't after that song?

Finally, today me and Javi went to one of the few good things about living in the perilous wastelands of South Florida: Tate's Comics & More. Tate's is the geek mecca of my general area, they have tons and tons of comics ranging from superhero to indie. They have manga, anime, obscure Japanese movies, toys of any and every pop culture-related thing EVER. And that is only the beginning!! And Javi had never been, so that's a situation that demanded rectifying. At Tate's this go-round I discovered such wonders as:

Emo Superman. Because the one thing keeping me from loving the Man of Steel was his lack of pouty brooding

And then we saw a bunch of toy-model-thingies that were Japanese of various DC characters. Most of them were girl characters and they had been made more adorable and tit-tastic, as is the rule for Japanified things. They also had Batman, who, even though he had a really cool costume, was kind of femmy looking. And Robin?

The less said the better

And then I bought a Totoro speaker-pillow.

Such happiness :D

And lastly, the other day Jon and I were wandering the vast wilds of Barnes and Noble when we came upon a new genre of literature we were previously unaware of:

W-what? Is...is this a thing now?

What hath Twilight wrought? This is Sugary Cynic saying, in the words of the snooty maitre'd from Ferris Bueller's Day Off:



  1. ...Holy crap. I thought teen paranormal romance just belonged in the teen section. WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN.

    I will keep my Hunger Games and Tamora Pierce books, thank you very much.

    Also I hope the mermaids in the new Pirates movie are man-eating. That would make me so happy.

  2. I am a massive fan of the original pirates trilogy, and fully expected to cream my shorts over that trailer. I didn't. I just sort of went "looks fine.".

    "Treasure Island" is my favourite muppet movie. "People die by falling overboard..."

    I have seen teen paranormal romance disguised as something called "dark fantasy" in bookshops over here. I might start sneaking some H.P. Lovecraft onto those shelves. That's proper dark fantasy, and his name conjures notions of romance in the uninitiated. Tentacle demons from hell dimensions are better than sparkly-ass vampires!

  3. I have a soft spot for Jack Sparrow...and I know I am repeating mysef but I agree...if you are going to do it, do it with Zombies.

    Teen Paranormal Romance??? Zoiks! I don't even know what to think, except ir scared me to see the Hemingway sign above and behind that section...WTF.

  4. Jack Sparrow woopee doo fucking da, who gives a shit?

    Teen Paranormal Romance? You're just catching on? Oh, must they all have lonesome flowers on their covers?


  5. Anything that makes Reed WTF really make me want to get a tattoo of it...LOL!! I would say at least they are reading, but I think bathroom walls have more literary merit,but I might be saying that out of sheer jealousy that they are published and I am not. I am willing to admit the possiblity...for a minute.

    Tim Curry singing anything makes it all better...

    I did it, and I did it with zombies...

    Yo ho...

  6. Rachael: I suppose now that Other Rachael's on here more regularly I need to call you egypt or somesuch. Or she could be Rachael 2 maybe. Either way, TAMORA PIERCE HI-FIVE!!

    Unwashed: Well now I'm just wishing for a Lovecraftian teen romance. "That's Yog Sothoth Cullen. He's not like the other boys...for starters he's a mass of tentacles and horror"

    Ron: Seriously, put the phrase on a mug or something already. I will spend money on it.

    Simon: You're such a very bitter child. And I told you I WOULD TELL YOOOOOUUUUU. I have a system, as soon as I finish the last couple episodes of Spaced, Misfits is next and then I will gush to you what I'm sure will be never-ending praises from the heavens

    Widow: As someone who is spiteful for a living, I can dig it. I cannot however get behind your peculiar romantic inclinations towards zombies. That's what I got out of your comment anyway :p


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