Monday, December 27, 2010

Cynic's Top 10 New Year's Resolutions

Because the best promises are the kind that you know ahead of time you'll break.



1. Reinstate Sean Connery Movie Sunday (hmm...maybe shouldn't have put this right after the broken promises joke)

2. Give up on Nicolas Cage

A prospect that gets easier with every new release


3. Stop watching Steven Seagal films before I start enjoying them on a non-ironic level

4. Learn some Japanese (that might be useful if I end up going to Japan, just a thought)

But then again...


5. Discover the secret to destroying Justin Beiber, Ke$ha and all of their ilk

I think the Evil Dead movies might have been on to something with the Necronimicon


6. Make less lazy-ass cop-out posts

There was going to be a funny joke/anecdote/film review here, but then I had to write a thesis chapter/got drunk/became perpetually exhausted so please enjoy this picture of Star Wars referencing the Princess Bride instead


7. Become best friends with Nick Frost and Simon Pegg

Hey guys, room for one more?


8. Stop giggling every time someone says "firm"

Random someone: "Hey, did you ever see that Tom Cruise movie, The Firm?"

Me: "Hee-hee, Tom Cruise, firm"

9. Convince Bryan Lee O'Malley to make a comic series about my life...it could work.

And by work I mean be GLORIOUS


10. Eventual conquering of intermanet (ok so that's a long term goal)


And there you have it. What are your New Year's Resolutions? Are they nonsensical bullshit or are you actually making a plan? Do share.

This is Sugary Cynic, awaiting the coming of 2012, when John Cusack will save her from the annihilation of the world. 'Night!

Me: (gesturing wildly) "Things...words...that's me, majoring in words"

10 comments:

  1. It's the worst keeping new years resolutions, especially when one of yous says to learn Japanese and the picture is Chinese hahahahaa

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  2. I never make resolutions. And how could you give up on this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP1-oquwoL8

    ReplyDelete
  3. my New Year's resolution is to be a bigger tag on your blog. why not? we still need you to be a pirate for my camera.

    ReplyDelete
  4. number 9 would awesome, but what if he just made a panel or 2 instead. less awesome, but certainly more plausible.

    also, no not the bees, NOT THE BEES, AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. But Season of the Witch also stars Robert Sheehan. Who's in Misfits. HAVE YOU WATCHED MISFITS YET!?!

    Don't give up hope on Nicholas Cage...he still did Wild at Heart...

    I've got to learn at least three languages, because if I can't be a translator somewhere, then I have absolutely no job prospects.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Adrianaaa: Obviously, I have a long way to go XD

    Unwashed: He makes it so hard to love him tho...

    Brenda: Yarr ;)

    Javi: THEY'RE IN MY EEEEEYYYYEEESSS!!!

    Simon: Dude(ette), you're in high school, you got ages before you got to worry about job prospects (says the sporadically employed college senior majoring in english) and um....no, I haven't yet (ducks)

    ReplyDelete
  7. most vital phrase in any language...

    トイレはどこですか。

    "toire wa doko desu ka"

    ... where's the toilet? XD

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  8. If you give up on nicholas cage, ashley coats will never forgive you. lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Teppy: *transcribes for future use*

    Abbie: I'll have to find a way to live with that :p

    ReplyDelete
  10. no no, I think it's all good with ashley, I'm fairly certain she has set a cut-off point where she's accepted that he's no longer good.

    ReplyDelete

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