Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tim Roth Makes Everything Better

Usually.

I am a lot less stressed now that I got a lot of my more pressing crap done. I finally finished my Japan application and over-nighted it to DC. Nothing left to do now except track it obsessively until it reaches its destination.

OBSESSIVE? WHO'S OBSESSIVE? NO REALLY, I WANT TO KNOW

Also helping me de-stress is Tim Roth as I have randomly decided to start working my way through the first season of Lie To Me. Because I am so topical that way. So far it's fairly awesome, Roth plays Cal Lightman, a bitter Brit with the ability to spot the most minute of facial twitches and pick out all the horrible dirty lies buried within them. He's one of those "brilliant dickhole" types who no one believes but is still always right so it's kinda like House except Lightman's not crippled and not a doctor and actually using his British accent. But apart from that it's like House.

I demand a cross-over, preferably one where they compete to see who is the most cynical, jaded asshole and then possibly make-out. (Hey, at least I don't write fan fiction)

Not much to talk about, revising a paper. I watched a goofy Japanese movie called White On Rice that was basically Napoleon Dynamite. If Napoleon Dynamite was a forty year old Japanese dude who acts like he's ten. And also if Napoleon Dynamite was funny (went there).

In terms of movie news relevant to the world:

Green Lantern trailer makes me "meh" despite large amounts of not-fully-clothed Ryan Reynolds:



I'm not gonna lie, if I was a green lantern I would do nothing but use my power ring to create giant green dicks and batter my enemies senseless with them. Nothing like a big green cockslap to make you think twice about committing crimes.

Oh, and here's a picture of John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe (warning, this picture has been known to cause dangerous amounts of giggling at the expense of John Cusack's dignity. Hide your children):

I just can't pick one thing I like best about it. The goatee-thingy, the sneakers, the bizarre facial expression. Truly this picture is a bounty of ridiculous.

And that's all for me. So sad, I know. This is Sugary Cynic, practicing her facial tics in a mirror in case she ever meets Tim Roth. 'Night!

(my brother when he saw the bar at Cheesecake Factory)

Jared: "Yeah, that makes sense. 'C'mon guys! Let's get wasted at Cheesecake at tonight! Boys night out at the Cheesecake Factory, gonna get HAMMERED!'"

6 comments:

  1. Is it there yet? Is it there yet?
    Edgar Allen Poe in sneakers? I'm historically confused...about this and many things.
    Haven't seen Lie to Me...I'll give it a look...can't get enough of those annoyingly bright, caustic types :)
    A bar at Cheescake Factory??? Was thier marketing person drunk?
    Good luck with the app!

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  2. Green Lantern's "Cockslap of Justice!" I don't care who you are, that's a win for everybody.

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  3. Oh dear. Now that I have seen Cusack-Poe, I cannot unsee it. How will I ever stop giggling?

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  4. Please use your brilliant Green Lantern Cockslapping powers to knock some sense into my beloved Tim Roth. A collaboration with Tarantino, hell, another comic book movie, anything but Fox TV.

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  5. oh my god are they making a poe movie?????

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  6. Ron: I feel like the sneakers are a large part of the hilarity

    Jacob: Basically. Also "Cockslap of Justice" would be an awesome name for a punk band

    Brenda: Give in to the Poe-giggles!! BWAHAHAHA!!

    Simon: Fine, but only cuz it's you

    Morose: Sure looks that way. I think.

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