Saturday, November 13, 2010

Freddie Mercury's Pants

We ate next to them at the Hard Rock:

Dunno what kind of gypsy voodoo magic helped him fit into those things

I went home for the weekend and my parents took me to the Hard Rock to celebrate my birthday. We gambled and I won ten dollars on a House of the Dead slot machine, and when you consider I played with a dollar, that's pretty good.

For dinner, our waiter was an incredibly tall and skinny dude named Jamal who was gayer than Nathan Lane in the springtime and also dyed and streaked his hair in an awesome manner. We also met a bartender named Ed who told us about a rockabilly bar he wants to open with a bar-top modeled after an engine with exhaust pipes all over the place. He made me a drink called the Red Death and told me about the time he saw Rancid and Reel Big Fish live while they played through the speakers in the background. My parents have a weird gift of getting people like waiters or bartenders or cashiers or bellhops to suddenly start spitting out their life story. Dunno how the hell they do it.

Finally, my brother and his friend are watching The Shining downstairs, which FINALLY gives me the opportunity to use this picture, which has nothing to do with anything, but makes me giggle:

Don't tell me that doesn't brighten your day in the weirdest way

This is Sugary Cynic, reporting live from home base, staring at pants that occupied the lead singer of Queen's crotch for an entire concert tour. 'Night!

Jamal: (to Ed) "You dunno what hair's mine and what's not! I keep 'em guessing. GUESSING!"

Ed: "...And now you know why I drink all day"

17 comments:

  1. I had lunch at one of the Hard Rock Cafes somewhere, can't remember where now. Our table was next to a Rolling Stones display, and they had a shirt/jacket thing that Mick wore for some tour. Jesus, it looked like it would fit a 5-year-old. I guess a lot of drugs and a lot of shagging go a long way towards keeping that girlish figure. Bought Scott Pilgrim Vs The World today and just finished watching it. Just keeps getting better. Love Allison Pill.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That Nicholson picture actually made me cough and spit phlegm on myself. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Did I ever tell you that I used to work as a supervisor at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas? No, of course not. When would I ever have the time?

    Anyway, long story short: If you can touch the actual merchandise on the walls, they're fakes. If its behind glass or out of reach, its authentic. I'm guessing Mercury's pants were the real deal, or else there's a really good reason to have them quarantined with the "hands-off" display case. Its probably for the best.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Please tell me they have MC Hammer's pants there...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I would love to take you to the Rock'n Roll hall of fame in Cleveland...if you think those pants are small...You should totally see anything Prince wears, it is like Ken doll small! Never let your parents and I meet...I have the same mysterious power...fur realz. <3 Have a great weekend Sugar!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Nothing about this I didn't like. I'm pretty sure Freddie Mercury's pants will get you pregnant just by eyeballing you. Because they have eyes in this anecdote.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anon: All that sex, drugs and rock n' roll must do wonders for the waistline

    Unwashed: (shrugs) It's not my fault that Jack Nicholson is unhappy with your choice in girlfriend

    Jacob: Vegas Hard Rock? AWESOME! Also interesting trivia, I'm glad I can be certain that I really was eating several inches away from Freddie Mercury's pants

    Ameer: If they did, I didn't see them. They did have Prince's jammies...which was weird.

    Widow: The rock and roll hall of fame? That's where Elvis is hiding, right?

    Simon: If I had touched the glass, there's a good chance those pants might've impregnated me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nice blog. What hard rock cafe was this?

    ReplyDelete
  9. thanks! this was at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in South Florida

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rеmarkаble! Its truly awesome paragгaph, I have got muсh cleaг іdeа
    conсerning from this piеce of writing.

    Look at my ωeb page: Bucket trucks for Sale

    ReplyDelete
  11. Way coοl! Ѕomе very νаlіd points!
    Ι appreciate yоu penning this ωrіte-uр and аlso thе rest of the sіtе iѕ alѕo reallу goоd.


    my ωeblog bucket trucks

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thiѕ text is pricеless. Whеrе can I
    find οut more?

    my web blog benefits of using tens units during pregnancy

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks for οne's marvelous posting! I really enjoyed reading it, you're a
    great аuthor. Ι ωill ensurе thаt I bookmаrk your blοg аnԁ will eventually comе back vеry soon.
    I want to encourage yοu to continue yоuг great
    worκ, havе a nicе weеkend!

    Feel fгee to visit my blog: tens units
    Also see my webpage - tens therapy

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am actuallу glad to read this weblog posts which contаins ρlеntу of
    valuable factѕ, thanks for pгoνiԁing these informаtіon.


    Also vіsit my ωeb pagе: taxi company euless
    Also see my site :: taxi irving

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am in fаct thanκful to the hοldег of thiѕ wеb site ωho has shared thіѕ
    fantаstіc post аt at this timе.


    Ηeгe is my web blog :: how to buy and sell cars guide

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hmm iѕ anyonе elsе expеrіencing pгoblems with the
    images on this blog loading? Ι'm trying to find out if its a problem on my end or if it's
    the blog. Any fеed-baсk would bе greatlу apρrеciаted.


    Feel fгee tο visit my weblog; how to buy and sell cars for profit

    ReplyDelete
  17. Great artiсle, just what I was looking for.

    my wеb-site Www.page1rankingdallas.com

    ReplyDelete

Share the love! Or, alternatively, the hate. Whichever, I'm easy

These Are Also Nice

Related Posts with Thumbnails