Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Suggestive Squash and The Leo Strut

Hello internet denizens, I am studying for my Immigration midterm. it hurts, on the inside. So even though I FINALLY got to watch The Secret of Kells, which was so amazing I vomited a live puppy, I don't have time to talk about it in depth. Instead here's a brief story about squash:

At Publix, the chain supermarket here in the SoFla (that's South Florida for those not in the know), the produce aisle usually has hilarious shaped and sized squash that I totally do not do immature things with like hold it in front of my crotch and poke my friends in the butt while they try to do their shopping like mature adults.

Because that is gross, juvenile, and totally hilarious

So I was putting the rather weighty dick-squash back before Zeke threatened to leave me behind when a surfer-y looking dude turned and with a look of shock (for whatever reason) said "What on earth were you gonna do with THAT?!"

To which I winked coquettishly (as opposed to like a seizure victim) and replied "What can't I do with one of those!"

And then he made this face:



I kinda enjoy being me sometimes. Now I must get back to work (sob), tune in tomorrow for The Secret of Kells and the triumphant return of Banner Quotes aka Jacob Doesn't Comment On Here Anymore So You Actually Have A Chance of Winning! EXCITING!!

In the meantime, please enjoy the new dance craze currently sweeping the nation, the Leo Strut:



God, I love the internet.

8 comments:

  1. ... how come we don't have squashes like that on a fucking pedestal-thingie in my store?? XD =P

    we just have those other weird looking squashes... fucking turban squashes and pumpkins XD

    ReplyDelete
  2. We can all learn a lot from Leo. And his strut.

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  3. THAT strut is how I'll be walking ALL DAY! With a HUGE squash in my pants!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Teppy: It is a question I cannot answer. Truly you are missing out.

    Unwashed: Indeed, wise words.

    Robert: Represent Florida, my good man!!

    Widow: YES!! I AM DOING IT WITH YOU IN SPIRIT BUT NOT PHYSICALLY BECAUSE I WOULD LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT

    Simon: YAY VERILY!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've only come back long enough to let you know that your movie quote comes from the classic John Carpenter film which featured "Rowdy" Roddy Piper who's sunglasses are so cool that they let him see aliens in their true form, "They Live".

    Carry on.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That was a magical moment right there, like a goddamn Bigfoot sighting. We miss you when you're gone, big guy :D hope life's treating you better than Roddy Piper

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