Thursday, September 30, 2010

Pseudo-Science Is My Favorite Science

Back for a double post, bitches! So today the sky turned yellow. YELLOW. What the crap is up with that? It's been raining constantly since yesterday cuz we got a tropical storm coming through and the fucking high school's got the day off but we got to slag through this lousy weather to class, not that I'm BITTER or anything. Perish the thought. The rain slackened a bit after dinner and that's when God decided to use the sepia filter and shit went all...yellow-y. It was weird and kinda apocalyptic looking and I have no idea why the hell it happened. And as the sun started set it just got YELLOWER. I tried to take a picture of it but the camera in my phone kept filtering out the yellow for whatever reason so you'll have to settle for this DRAMATIC REENACTMENT:



Ok, we can move on now.

So there is in fact few things more fun than watching Jurassic Park with someone who has never seen it and happens to be a science major currently taking classes about...you know, dinosaur stuff. This was the case tonight when I sat down with Jasmine and Alexa, two science-y majors doing just that. Jasmine's seen it and all that but poor Alexa had no idea what she was in for. Me, being the Literature major and casual dino enthusiast, pretty much just accepted all the bullshit science in favor of watching velociraptors tear some shit apart, which lead to stuff like:

(The little DNA dude from the animated portion explains how they extracted dino-blood from mosquitoes trapped in amber, added in some frog DNA and presto! Dinosaurs!)

Me: Whatever you say, DNA version of Clippy.

Jasmine: You might wanna ignore this part...

Alexa: (too late) WHAT? No. NO. NO! That is not right!

Jasmine: Paying attention only makes it hurt more!

Alexa: This is wrong!! This is so much wrong!

And then they'd show the dinosaurs and Jasmine and Alexa would take turns pointing out how wrong and/or stupid the movie was. And the fact that real velociraptors looked less like this:

Holy shit, run! It smells your fear and finds it delicious!

And more like this:

Heehee, I wanna pet it and AGHHSWEETJESUS!! It's eating my face in a manner both hilarious and terribly painful!

So yeah. But really, you don't watch Jurassic Park for minute accuracy, or even much-larger-than-minute accuracy. You watch it to see the fat guy from Seinfeld get sprayed in the face with dinosaur poison. And the for dinosaurs. That too.



Never. Gets. Old.

This is Sugary Cynic saying "Clever girl" 'Night!

4 comments:

  1. Its amazing, because when Michael Crichton wrote Jurassic Park, he went to painstaking lengths to make the science at least... accurate. Of course, that means a lot of long words and diatribes about protein chains, so of course the movie forgoes that nonsense in favor of the smiling Nucleic Acids.

    ReplyDelete
  2. BUT IT IS RIGHT! THE CARTOON TOLD ME! CARTOONS DO NOT LIE!

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  3. I am with TheUnwashedMass...Cartoons DONT lie...except for the one's the Nazi's made, but that is a whole 'nother blog post!

    Tell Science girls to uncork and just enjoy the fantasy. You may be a nerd-girl, but de-constructing a movie like that is NERDY!

    Love ya Cynic...your blog post pleases me, so I'll call off the hitman......*insert overly long pause* for now!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wesman: Wait, that's not how it works?

    Unwashed: THEY WOULD NEVER!

    Widow: Oh that's nothing, we've totally deconstructed WAAAY nerdier things

    ReplyDelete

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