Monday, September 27, 2010

I Have Nothing To Write About (Again)

Literally. All I've done is schoolwork and catch up on the two new Generator Rex episodes, which continue to be surprisingly awesome (just let me have my childish cartoons). And also job hunting, that too. Cuz I be broke. Which sucks. A lot. Anyone want to give me money? I can draw things...write things...watch children? Stock your shelves? ......Be sarcastic?



Wheeee.

I started watching this pseudo-gangster/coming-of-age flick called The Narrows but it was unbearably boring, the only good thing about it was Vincent D'Onofrio, who was that quirky cop on Law and Order Criminal Intent before he was replaced by the far quirkier Jeff Goldblum.

Possibly because if they were on-screen together the sheer amount of quirk would turn the show from a police procedural into the movie Juno. And no one wants to see Jeff Goldblum as a sassy pregnant girl. And if you do, please don't tell me.

So yeah, the film was dull as hell, I couldn't even bothered to finish it. And when a film loses my interest, well you're definitely doing something wrong. I've sat all the way through the Princess and The Frog, Horton Hears A Who, X-men 3 and the remake of The Wicker Man for crying out loud! To be fair, The Wicker Man is absolutely amazing in the worst way. You know you have a terrible horror movie when it's this easy to make it look like a legit comedy:



Just watch it. It's worth it to see him to roundhouse kick Leelee Sobieski into a wall. And also steal a bike while dressed as a bear. I'll say this for The Wicker Man, it may be a cinematic abomination that is inexplicably dedicated to Johnny Ramone, but it sure ain't boring.

What else? Not much. My life is a dull one indeed. Probably going to go see the fluffy owl movie this weekend. I've never read the books and upon hearing the premise "it's like Lord of the Rings...but with owls!!" I should be put off. But I'm not. Personally I blame those fuckers 30 Seconds to Mars (who I usually hate) for somehow making a trailer about goddamn owls that is mostly nothing but flying and vague mentionings of "the guardians" ...good?



See, I should be thinking "this about owls. By the Happy Feet guys. This is stupid" but then that epic fucking music starts playing and it's all "Oooh! Adventures, shiny things! Bad-ass old owl-dudes!" and also "hee, that owl has a fluffy mohawk"

And then I become rather frightened that I am seen as an adult in the eyes of the law.

But you can't deny that that is one fluffy-ass mohawk.


This is Sugary Cynic, totally not humming along to the song. Honestly. For reals...I hate you Jared Leto. So much. 'Night!

Ashley: "I read 'Essence' magazine because it's the only way I can get in touch with and learn about my black heritage"

Me: "...You really are the worst minority ever"

Ashley: "I know"

5 comments:

  1. No one writes about nothing like you do....I'll give you five dollars one penny at a time over the next five years to draw me into your cartoons..LOL Or you can do that for free...which, getting one penny at a time over five years equalling five bucks would be about free...LOL Love ya Sugary...you are the voice of all Generations!

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  2. Your wicker man as a comedy video reminded me of one I saw a while ago that makes 500 days of summer into a thriller. Thought you might enjoy it!

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=qxRGIrLRWcg

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  3. Jared Leto should stick to acting. I like it when he acts. He's not so retarded when he acts.

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  4. Widow: Thanks :D and just count yourself lucky that I really am THAT bad at math

    Carolyn: well-edited video, but the fact that they used the Inception trailer music was waaay distracting lol

    Simon: Nope, hate him then too. See Lord of War for details

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  5. I have to agree with you about the movie The Narrows. I'm a die hard Vincent fan so it's hard for me to criticize anything he's in. It feels like blasphemy, but it was rather dull.
    bluevelvetvincent.blogspot.com

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