Thursday, August 12, 2010

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder (That's A Lie, It's In The Boobs)

Pity me, my jaw hurts. Before you perverts start making any suppositions, I had to go to the dentist to get a cavity filled and whilst there they discovered a second cavity right behind it. :( don't get it, I brush, I floss, I mouthwash and yet I ALWAYS HAVE CAVITIES. My brother brushes, rarely flosses, and never mouthwashes and he has perfect teeth. Bastard. I do have one trump card though: he has wisdom teeth that have to be removed soon. I, on the other hand am a product of evolution and was born without wisdom teeth so nyah! Homo-Superior, bitch!

So anyways, Jacob over at e-Loumination, the snarkiest mofo in spitting distance (I don't know what that means) got a blogamajig JPEG award for being a Beautiful Blogger (I don't know what that means either). And because he is a lazy busy man, instead of tagging anyone he said anyone on his blogroll was free to snag the award and do with it what they will. And snag I did, not to satisfy my monstrous ego's insatiable lust for attention and validation, but for comedic purposes. Mostly.

But admit it, you'd watch a movie called "Attack of the Ego: Insatiable Lust for Attention (And Flesh! ...But Mostly Attention)"

And here it is in all of it's JPEG-ery!

I'm still not sure what being a beautiful blogger means though. Does it mean you're pretty? Or that your layout design is aesthetically pleasing? Or that if the blog was a person you'd totally tap that? (The things I would do to Four Of Them...) Yeah, this is officially more confusing then the versatility blogger award, which I still maintain means your blog is either a Transformer or a Subaru. Or both.

In the interest of fair play and because I too am lazy busy, first four people who want this thing and claim it get it. Because why not? But also you have to list (giggle) seven beautiful things about yourself. I can't even type that with a straight face. So I'm going Jacob's route and writing seven bad-ass things about myself instead so I can get through this without snickering.


1. I don't have wisdom teeth.

2. I have a tattoo of a robot scorpion on my back

3. I took karate for thirteen years (but you could probably just pick me up...)

4. My friend, roommate and occasional wife, Shaina made this for me back during the '08 elections:

Dunno if this counts as "about me" per se, but it is both bad-ass and beautiful

5. I interrupted Kanye West (with my FIST)

6. I also bitch-fought Tyra Banks (she started it)

7. I made Gordon Ramsay cry

And there you go. Now go forth and be beautiful! ...Or something. Do whatever, really, I'm not the boss of you. I don't have anything to quote from tonight, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on it's head:


  1. I would take this challenge, but I can't think of anything bad ass or beautiful about me or my blog.

    Also, what's the significance of the robot scorpion tattoo? Or is it just because robot scorpions are bad-ass?

  2. Like I said, I would've given it to you anyway. Cuz you're badass and beautiful on so many levels. The scorpion tat is hot, though. I think that just might've put you over the edge in both categories!

  3. Unwashed: it's quite simple really, robot scorpion = rad!!

    Jacob: thanks Captain Weirdo McOldDude :p


    And Sugary, dear, you know I'm way too classay for you.

  5. Simon: pfft, like that would ever stop me

  6. 5, 6, & 7: pics/vids or it didn't happen


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