Friday, July 30, 2010

Readin' Scott Pilgrim


Go 'way.

For reals.

Look today was straight up awful, work sucked every kind of ass, I got yelled at for eating at a desk that no one goes to anyway because they don't give me a long enough break to eat my lunch. I thought they had screwed up my paycheck AGAIN but they really just pay me that little, one of the awesome people who worked there is moving on to a better job and an airhead kumbaya-strummer who wears jean-overall-dresses is taking his place. One of the girls who works there is having issues with guy workers saying dickish and sexual things to her and she told the BOSS-boss, the head honcho and he said:

Boys will be boys

So I was going to go to Tate's, aka Florida's comic book mecca, with Jon to blow off some steam. I pull up outside his house, call him and tell him to get his ass out and he says his mother called two seconds before me to tell him he has to go to church and she will not take no for an answer (he was reasonably confused by this). I didn't even know church on Friday nights were a thing (but then I know more about open-heart surgery than I do about churches)

Church Knowledge:

1. When 24-hour drive-thru Elvis chapels are unavailable, marriages occur there

2. People pray in them, or something

3. Occasionally, they have gongs

Open-heart Surgery Knowledge:

1. Used to fix heart disease

2. You gotta open up the chest to do it, and that is icky

3. Before you do it, it's best to stop the heart and drain it of blood, using hypothermia, or dark and mysterious voodoo of a gypsy nature

4. If the heart starts spurting, you did something very wrong

So yeah, no Jon. I went anyway, got lost because I am dumb, found the place and indulged in a good 2 hours of being in a warm cocoon of geekery. And got Scott Pilgrim, which is the first non-shitty thing that has happened today, so I'm gonna get back to that.

Are you still here?

(Caption when Scott Pilgrim kisses Knives Chau)
"BUT IT WAS HORRIBLE. FOR EVERYONE. And that includes you."


  1. Wanna know what sucks balls? I can't find any Scott Pilgrim in the library or the bookstore. Why? Because my town is culturally crippled by The Jersey Shore.

    I heard of a girl who got harrassed at work, with the same response from Boss, and retaliated by sticking some used tampons in the guys' lockers. Which is gross, but it's not like they could do anything.

  2. the tampon thing is equal parts horrifying and awesome. This chick's cousin is a lawyer and she's actually thinking of a lawsuit apparently.

    Also sucks to be you since Jersey Shore was filming down here, where you will be (or are, whichever) so YOU CANNOT ESCAPE. Or I could let you borrow mine by way of immigrant courier


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