Monday, July 19, 2010

Like American Idol, But Without The Judges, Or Ryan Seacrest, Or Anything Else They Have On American Idol

Good evening/night/morning/afternoon/your timezone is stupid/etc! For this post, since it is typically Music Monday, we continue our quest for a new idol in the wake of Sean Connery's un-retirement to star in a truly horrid movie abortion on a musical note (PUNS). But first, please elevate your heads (ha) and notice that there is a new banner quote in place for you to try your luck with. No more Miss Nice Cynic, this one's hard (ha). It might actually take you longer than fifteen minutes after I post (gasp)! Also my Facebook fan page is up to 92 fans, which is awesome, but not as awesome as 100. If you happen to have a Facebook and are not yet a fan, give in to your desires and help me achieve, um, 100-dom! Yes! That! PEER PRESSURE. That is all.

And now for Round Two of the competition for Sugary Cynic's Next Top Idol! On Saturday, Helen Mirren easily won "Most Awesome Looking in Period Clothing" because that is something she pretty much does 24/7. If you were to randomly drop in on Helen Mirren unannounced, odds are she'd be dressed as some sort of Elizabethan royal figure or other.

"Oh, hello there. I was just about to watch George Lopez and eat some pineapple from a can"

And now for the second test, in accordance with Music Monday my desire for silly contests, a singing challenge! Because they have to at least be more musical than The Connery:

Well, he's really only doing that William Shatner talk-singing thing. But...he's got that voice!

Ahem, moving on. First up is last round's winner, Helen Mirren, weirdly enough singing the same Beatles song as Sean Connery. Go figure. Also for all her awesome it turns out that Helen Mirren sings even worse than me. And I sing pretty damn terribly. But she somehow manages to remain utterly adorable. Gypsy voodoo magic, methinks. Unfortunately I can't embed the video because it's stupid but here is the link (it's like not even a minute long).

Next is Chow Yun Fat...the less said, the better.

In the DVD I have at home, they show you the rhymes,and they are so painfully bad. But, to be fair, he is fighting off triad thugs while defending a baby.

Finally, Jeremy Irons. Ok, this one really isn't even fair. I mean, there's the obvious:

The less obvious:

The absolutely hilarious:

He has a bit of an edge over the competition in this one.

And now I need to sleep, which I have been neglecting of late. Insomnia bites. Also it has been a pretty crappy day, work effed with my paycheck, Jon was a bit of a bastard and I am in a story-rut. Murrrr. Maybe some sleep will fix it. This is Sugary Cynic saying "Why is it when Helen Mirren sings badly everyone goes 'awww' but when I do it, people throw things?" 'Night!


  1. Because Helen Mirren is everyone's badass aunt, and nobody wants to piss her off.

  2. Irons owns this round. Come on, Mirren!

  3. Simon: I could be everyone's badass aunt if I tried really hard!

    Unwashed: wait 'til you see the next round (evil chuckling)


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