Friday, June 25, 2010

Things I Did This Evening...

Spoke French

Made literary jokes

Poked a gay man in the stomach

Wore a sock monkey as a hat

Got Starbucks food by making sad puppy eyes

Made a haiku about cheese that I can no longer remember

Tried on Iron Man galoshes (galoshes is a funny word. Is it always two galoshes or can there be a single galosh?)

Listened to songs from Evil Dead: The Musical

Won a duel

Lost a duel

Enacted violence on a minority (he started it)

Threw a ball at someone (he asked for it)

Got a ball thrown at me (I asked for it)

Took a plastic sword to the boob

Spoke Swahili

Possibly permanently damaged a tricycle

Definitely permanently damaged a red wagon

Enacted the dreams of disturbed Twilight fans everywhere using Edward and Jacob barbie dolls

Interrupted a tender moment via vuvuzela impersonation (for those scratching their heads and saying "vuvu-wha?", you live under a rock, now watch this video)

Spoke Latin

Imitated Elmo

And also Mickey Mouse

Became trapped in a parking lot

Escaped the parking lot

Was denied a bouncy ball

Learned more about the complicated relationship between Wolverine and Deadpool

Spoke Spanish (badly)

Violated a man on his birthday (Happy birthday, Izzy! ...sorry)

Tested the Vulcan neck pinch with varying levels of success

Sat in the shadow of Bhuddha on a very comfy sofa

And that is why there is no post tonight (and also no paint drawings, sorry Jacob) but it was definitely time well spent :D


  1. But you know what you didn't do? You didn't have a conversation with the (wo)man in the mirror. I like that person, they are so much like me, which probably means you'd like them too, most likely.

  2. What is a riddle but words? What are words but riddles? Riddle me this, is it all but one big riddle? Perhaps you are the biggest riddler of all.

  3. Memories of my first ever Disney trip (my first!!) will be forever haunted by your Mickey Mouse impersonations of "Hi kids! I'm legally required to inform you that I'm a registered sex offender WOO HOO!"...thanx for that.

  4. A very busy day indeed...and multilingual as well! I am impressed...worth waiting for the cartoons :)

  5. hehe....i was a part of the night of silly also forgot to mention witnessing your best friend being attacked in the front seat of your car by his boyfriend.

  6. Aw thanks for violating me :)


  7. Can you go to the mall with me? I imagine it would be awesome.

  8. Anon: ...I give up

    Ashley: always happy to ruin the purer parts of your childhood hopes and dreams

    Ron: I lead an exciting and multilinguisitical life

    Anon-Jon: I wanted to spare my gentle readers the mental scarring...

    Anon-Izzy: my pleasure :p, the cookies are in the mail, obviously

    Simon: just know that I have a rather astonishing record of getting thrown out of various stores and malls


    That is all.

    Just wanting to let you know I live. My apologies for not being online lately. I have been sickly since Thursday night.

  10. Since I live, may I claim my prize?


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