SUGARY CYNICISM THEATER PRESENTS A VERY BRIEF SCENE WITH A VERY BIG ASSHOLE:
(Scene: The Museum, late afternoon, hotter than James Franco without a shirt-
Stop recycling jokes!
Anyway, it's really hot. The Cynic sits at her little membership kiosk, desperately hawking memberships and free Toy Story 3 shirts and puzzles. Passerbys cannot help but notice her breathtaking beauty, her alluring form, her-
Didn't I tell you to beat it? I'm working here! Anyway, suddenly she is approached by a man, his wife and young son. They are interested in membership, but things are about to go terribly awry!!
You are tacky and I hate you
Yeah well you're ugly. Life is hard like that. And scene!)
Me: We'll you're ready to go. Would you like a T-shirt, or a puzzle? The shirts are kinda big so I'd say-
Asshole McDouchebag from the clan Ass-butt: Get my son a T-shirt!
Me: Well that's the thing, all we have right now are adult sizes. We'll be getting more sizes when Toy Story opens next week
Asshole: (Does not compute)
You should say you only have adult sizes!!
Me: ...I did. Just now.
Asshole: Well I wanna get my son a T-shirt!
Me: You can, it's just kinda big. How about the puzzle?
Kid: I like the puzzle, Daddy.
Asshole: NO. I want to give my son a T-shirt!
Wife: You can just wear it.
Asshole: No! I'm in the T-shirt business! I need no T-shirts, I wanna give HIM one. Why should I sign up for a membership if you can't even get me a small shirt?
Me: This is what they give me, sir. If there was anything I could do, I would.
Like for instance take this adult-sized T-shirt and ram it so deep in your ass you choke on it.
Asshole: Next time you should tell potential customers that you don't have the right T-shirts.
Me: (suppressing "go-for-the-throat" instincts)
Asshole: Ok, take the puzzle. Let's sign up (shoots me a dirty look before going to the box office)
Me: (very, very quietly) Motherfuckingdouchebagassbrigadebastardfacedbuttmunchingcockjugglingdipshitfarmer
FIN. THIS HAS BEEN SUGARY CYNICISM THEATER, GOOD NIGHT AND HAVE A SUITABLY FANCY TOMORROW.