Wednesday, May 26, 2010

They Wanted Me To Hold The Door

Yep. Because rich people in expensive suits apparently cannot tell the difference between an exit and an entrance (and I say that with total seriousness, if I hadn't been holding the stupid door open they would have milled around like confused and frightened sheep dressed in Armani). Well, rather than be a human doorstop I had to keep myself amused somehow, mostly by imitating Tour Guide Barbie:


However, there was at the groundbreaking, the most amazing and hilarious man I have ever seen in my life. I will explain why on a point by point basis:

1. He had on an expensive suit top and jacket, and blue jeans

2. he wore gold aviator sunglasses

3. He was shorter than me (that's 5'3" for those keeping score)

4. He had a mustache that was CRAFTED BY GODS FROM ON HIGH. The kind of mustache people dream of, and then weep as they wake for they know they shall never achieve that level of mustache-hood.

5. His name, his first name, was SANTIAGO.

Every time I was feeling bummed at being the Amazing Human Doorstop, I just looked at Santiago and the world became a brighter place.

In other, significantly less mustache-related news, I finally got back into working out and stuff now that I'm over the plague and more and more I find that the most effective workout music I have is How To Train Your Dragon. Why yes, I am a huge dork. And also, yes, I have no shame whatsoever, because it works. This song came on on the last half-mile on the bike machine, listen to it and tell me that doesn't inspire your ass across a finish line!

Don't judge meeeeeee...

What else? I introduced my brother to that which is Street Fighter,

And also we have a French intern doing this foreign exchange internship thing at the museum. And guess who they want to teach him how to whore for membership? And guess who finally has a use for the crap-ton of French she took in college? (the answer is me). Just goes to show, you never know when bilingualality will come in handy. Kay, I'm fucking bushed. This is Sugary Cynic saying "Buh-bye now!"

Because the quote from Street Fighter that I wanted to use is so much better out loud:

(After Chun-Li shows the baddies via video the truckload of explosives that is headed straight for them)


  1. Why must you hate on the midget mustachioed population? This is very unlike you.

    /Yeah, I used the word mustachioed, whatcha gonna do about it?
    // Pppppppppunk

  2. I am losing track of which anon is which. Either way, let it be known whomever you may be that A. Santiago was not quite short enough to be a midget, and B. I did not hate on him, I treasured every moment he was in my life

  3. Your video fails. Therefore, you fail.

    But, my god, is it LE MUSTACHE!? I've heard rumors, but I've never let myself dream it could possibly be. If you see this man (Santiago. Ha.), take a goddamn picture! I MUST KNOW!


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