Thursday, May 6, 2010

Home Is Where The Heart (And Your Favorite Crappy Movie) Is

I have returned home mostly intact and with minimal road damage! (Those nuns deserved what they got, why they were trying to cross a highway is beyond me). So now I am at home with my boxes and my-

KITTY!!

That is Neko. There's also Yuki but he had absolutely no desire to get his picture taken. Also, since photos are working again here's that picture of the Sea Shiv I wanted to post before and also the last picture of my dorm room (sniffle):

YARRR, MOTHAFUCKA!

So I celebrated my glorious and/or triumphant return to the 'burbs of my birth by trying hookah for the first time with my brother and his man-mate Juan. It was ok, I pretty much just got really light-headed and choked a couple times but it was very entertaining watching the boys puff out smoke like pubescent dragons. After that, me and the bro continued to celebrate in the nerdiest way we knew how, by watching one of our favorite crappy movies and attacking it with such a total lack of mercy that even the guys at Mystery Science Theater would be appalled.

Tom Servo would weep!

Also, if you don't know what I'm referencing here, slap yourself in the face for being an ignorant shut-in and watch this to LEARN:



Me and the brother play the home version, and our film of choice was XXX. No, not porn, you freaks! I mean the one with Vin Diesel. Seriously, what kind of siblings watch porn together? On second thought, please God don't answer that question. Anyway, yeah, the cheese-beast of doom that is XXX is always ripe for comedy:













It does feel good to be home :D


(on the accuracy of the Czech Republic, or whatever it is now, as portrayed in XXX)

Me: "So, is all the Czech Republic like this? Weird pseudo-Gothic clubs and Tesla coils and Czech women looking like freaks?"

Jared (that would be my brother): "Probably"

9 comments:

  1. what vulgar nonsense and complete disregard for the respect of the classic film industry. this is horrifying on an epidemic level and i can't believe children these days speak this way. using the f-word and talking about sex (of ANY kind)...i am just appalled, and yet somehow drawn back again and again. Keep up the blomit (new word i JUST created for, "blog vomit," catchy ain't it?) Enjoy your kitties and awful movies and the incestuous porn watching parties over this most glorious (as always) of summers.

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  2. I will slap the ignorant in the face and taste victory in their salty tears. All should know of the greatness that is (or was) Mystery Science Theater 3000!!

    Can I come over and play sometime? :)

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  3. Anonymous: For simplicity's sake, I'm just going to assume you're the same on from the last post. I'm glad you're drawn back by the magnet that is my swearing and genitalia-related humor. Also the sarcasm is strong within you! My objections are to being referred to as a child at the ripe old age of 20, and also that you do not reveal yourself!

    Jacob: You go ahead and taste your salty victory, I don't judge :p

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  4. Indeed the sarcasm is strong within me and I am not one who posted before or has ever posted. I have known you from a happy place that has recently become an empty and, most likely, a sad place. The apple of my eye giggles and is as sweet as candy. You will not discover me...

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  5. huh, so I have multiple Anonymouses to deal with (does Anonymous have a plural?) Also, not gonna lie, that apple of the eye bit is a tad creepy.

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  6. Don't worry...that was describing my g/f...apparently my riddles are too tough. I was never creepy...quite huggable though...

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  7. oh well that's ok then. I figured you were an HC kid, but now I'm gonna say...Bryan?

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  8. Now I just went and made it too easy...lol. Btw...you are younger than me so I can most definitely call you a child all I want...in fact, I was pretending to be a 60 year-old grandmother of 9...

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  9. ah, was that it? Lol, you kill me man! One anon down, one more to go.

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