Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Story Of The Hat

Ok so saying someone's got a badonkadonk is a compliment, right? It means they have mad junk in the trunk last time I checked. Someone please tell Ashley this, she doesn't seem to understand that I am giving her a compliment and told me that I didn't even HAVE a butt, and then I was sad. Way to lower the self-esteem of my butt, Ashley. I hope you and your boot-ay are happy. Classy blog remains ever-classy. If it turns out that this post is less funny and more an endless stream of babble, blame it on the fact that I've been awake for thirty-four and a half hours and counting (it will probably be thirty-five by the end of this post). The reason I fore-went my sweet precious bed was not the usual insomnia but a presentation for Shakespeare that I freaked out over and spent the whole night working on. It paid off because I ended up doing pretty good with my presentation and now I'm pretty much just torturing my body for fun. Wheeee. Also I want to break Arlene's record of forty-two (I prolly won't make it). In the meantime, I want to address a matter that all who know me are aware of, and all who don't are about to find out:

SUGARY CYNIC'S DEMON CAT HAT

Yep. That basically covers it, minus the entourage of ominous smoke...usually.

Purchased by an ex-boyfriend freshman year at some comic/anime convention that I can't remember the name of, it was on a table of miscellaneous hats and not labeled as belonging to any particular show or whichever, which was part of why I liked it. I remember that the aforementioned ex HATED the hat, but bought it for me because we were at that phase of the relationship where such things occur. Anyway, I've worn it periodically over the last three years when not getting my fedora on, and it has become a pseudo-trademark. People see cat ears and they immediately know who it is because no one else has a hat with cat ears and dead soulless eyes. Yeah, an unintended side effect: this hat has the ability to creep the fuck out of people:



I remember when I first wore it to class freshman year, the creative writing professor kept looking at it in a wary fashion before stopping mid-sentence and declaring "Your hat is staring into my soul!" ...Or course, he also had a history of doing acid back in the day, so take from that what you will.

It was only recently when I started watching Azumanga Daioh, this unbelievably funny anime about the lives of these random Japanese high school girls. It's random and surreal as hell but really hilarious. It's nice to watch an anime every now and again that isn't all: "I'm going to be the best/strongest/sexiest "x", but oh no, the evil darkness/soldiers/ghosts/vaguely malevolent entity is attacking and it turns out I was destined for greatness! Let's have a single fight that stretches across fifteen episodes!"

My point being that as I watched Azumanga Daioh, I saw this:

OH NOES MY HAT IS NOT NEARLY AS INDIE AS I WAS LEAD TO BELIEVE!

Still, better Azumanga Daioh then some awful crap like Naruto. Although it does take away some of the spookiness of those dead eyes, always staring...never blinking, always watching, waiting patiently for your one moment of weakness when its soulless gaze will finally rob you of your last shred of sanity!!

WHEN YOU GAZE LONG INTO THE ABYSS, THE ABYSS GAZES INTO YOU

...I should probably stop before I do something especially weird (or at least weirder than quoting Nietzsche as the caption to a picture of a hat with cat ears from an anime about Japanese schoolgirls)

Yeah, I'm gonna go. If I pass the forty hour mark I might post something else that revels in the victory of abusing myself for absolutely no reason. Til then, night!

Yukari: (explaining why they are betting on their school basketball match) "It won't be exciting unless we're betting. Besides, like hell I'm going to be exercising with no incentive or reward in sight!" -Azumanga Daioh

2 comments:

  1. I still hate the hat =p And there was no way I was letting you leave the con without that thing, you were dying to have it as soon as its soulless gaze met yours.

    Seriously though, just wanted to say that this is really funny stuff. Cayden always felt a little forced to me, but the writing I've seen here sounds more like stuff you'd actually say. I hope you enjoy writing it as much as I've enjoyed reading it =)

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  2. Thanks :) Now if only there was a way someone would pay me to be a cynical wit, I'd be set

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