Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sean Connery Movie Sunday/My Blog Rebels At Stagnation

Went and saw Kick-Ass again with the brother, just as awesome the second time around, and he liked it too, except he claims there wasn't enough action, which is partly because he's become so spoiled by Chinese and Korean action movies that spend roughly two minutes on plot exposition and the other eighty-eight on straight up kicking ass that he can watch Die Hard and feel like it's too talky.

Yeah, it's ok, I guess. But it'd be better if he was also kicking a guy...with a shoe-knife...while on fire

Anyway, today's Sean Connery movie was going to be The Presidio, a fairly straight-forward cop movie with corruption and 80'sness and pre-NCIS Mark Harmon. But I am quite frankly burned the fuck out on Sean Connery thanks to the festering pile of crazy that is Highlander 1 and 2, and honestly, the whole reason I wanted to even mention the movie is because of one scene, where some punk hassles Sean Connery's character at a bar and Connery threatens to beat the shit out of him, wait for it, using only his right thumb, "because the left one's much too powerful for you"

"Shit! the thumbs are out! Retreat! Save yourselves!!!"

And he does it! He totally does it and it's awesome and then the movie returns to being a bland crime thriller. Unfortunately, I cannot find this damn scene anywhere online and I don't actually own the movie. (Imagine me making a sad face at this point in time). So, in the nature of crack ingenuity (laziness) and complete lack of shame or any capacity to feel embarrassment, I present to you a recreation of said scene, with stuffed animal puppets in place of actors, and sheer ridiculousness in the place of dignity! Enjoy (edit: aaarrrgggh, I don't know why but the audio is off, it's not off on when I play it out of windows media normally but through youtube it's all retarded for some reason, if anyone can hazard a guess as to why, let me know)

Just hope you've seen the last of that! Also, this may not be the best time, right after showing a video of me making an idiot of myself for fun in a video with audio I can't fix but, hey, let's live in the moment! My fan page has stalled out 71 fans, mostly friends who hope I'll stop annoying them. Well now even if you don't know me, you too can have me stop annoying you and join the fan page! Also, in reference to my clever reference to Sherlock Holmes in my title, my blog feels stagnant and this will not do! So, suggest things! I am perfectly capable of coming up with deranged topics on my own but what do YOU weirdos want to read about? Go for it, as you saw, I am above nothing. :D

On that note, time for sleep (by which I mean time to create a host of videos of me recreating scenes from various Sean Connery movies with the aid of toys) Night!

Lt. Col. Alan Caldwell (that would be Sean Connery): "Ah, shit on a stick!"


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