Monday, April 5, 2010

Music Monday: Weirdly Distinctive Voices

Well, winter is officially over in the land of Florida. It may not be full-on "death heat that robs your body of all liquid and oxygen, searing your lungs on impact" hot yet, but the easy breezy days are over and I can look forward to sweating like an obese construction worker once more!

Well no, that's not at all what I...so ripply...can't focus...

Ahem, moving on. Today's Music Monday is a little bizarre but I have license to be weird whenever I want, that's kind of what the internet is for, right? On that note, today's theme is: Weirdly Distinctive Voices. You when you hear a song and you immediately know who it is because no one else can contort their voice quite like them? This is the salute to the all the uniquely voiced singers out there!*

*or at least five of them.

1. Voltaire. You could never mistake him for anything else. His voice just oozes charisma, sarcasm and a certain "I am so much better than you"ness. His main focus is parody songs that mock everything from Hot Topic goths, religion, vampires and even the Industrial Revolution, all while with smarmy cheer. His voice is unmistakable and possibly even a bit sexy, especially in Hell in a Handbasket, which riffs heavily on When The Saints Go Marching:




2. Regina Spektor. If you don't know who Regina Spektor is, you are missing out. Also you might live under one more rocks. She's a Russian-born singer who writes random and often beautiful songs and plays random and often beautiful piano. She also has a contortionist voice, putting it through the vocal equivalent of the parallel bars, balance beam and mat all in one go. When you hear her sing you know it can't possibly be anyone else. One good example of this vocal phenomenon of awesome is Fidelity:




3. Dexter Holland of The Offspring. Speaking of torturing your voice box into awesomeness, there's Dexter Holland, lead screaming maniac of The Offspring. Although their heyday was back in the nineties, people all over still recognize them thanks to Dexter's unmistakable screeching. Although calling it screeching makes it sound like he can sing, which is not true. It's not like screamo or whatever, the man can carry a tune, he just carries to 11. Best example, bar none, and also kick-ass song about the world's worst relationship, Self Esteem (included with lyrics for those who don't speak nineties yelling):




4. Brian Johnson of AC/DC. Well obviously I have to mention HIM. He is the screecher that all screechers aspire to be. Brian Johnson can belt songs that would give a lesser man laryngitis for life. Of course, now AC/DC's all old and wrinkly and only releasing albums through Walmart and it's all a bit embarrassing but we're just going to talk about back in the day, when their original lead singer, Bon Scott, died and Brian came and the world was RAWKED. How could you ever mistake him for anyone else?! Any song is a great example, but my absolute favorite is Rock and Roll Ain't Noise Pollution:



5. Feist. Just barely squeaking in is Leslie Feist, who usually just goes by the last name. She's the one who did that number song, "1,2,3,4" that was inescapable for one summer and made you want to tear you ears off...or was that just me? So, her voice may not be instantly recognizable to you now, but after you listen to what she does in this song, The Water, it will be, it is freaking great (and so is her other stuff, it's just that one number song that hurts me inside, and that's mostly just overexposure):



And that is all of me for today. Also, I didn't make the Progressive top ten. Bummer :( Time fo' Shakespeare, and I will see you tomorrow!

"Punk and all that was just an image that ripped people off. Johnny Rotten's a wanker, and that's all there is to it." -Brian Johnson

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