Saturday, March 6, 2010

Friggin Random Friday or How To Be A Bad Blogger

Yeah, you remember how I told you there was going to be a Star Trek comic? That was before the Spring Break party :D So much for getting something meaningful out of college...No worries though, this will be the last irresponsible blog for awhile cuz I go home tomorrow and will having nothing to do but blog. So yeah, there will be comic, at some point. Right now I consider it a miracle I can type coherently whee! (semi-coherently)

So me and the gang went out to the movies to see Alice In Wonderland in 3d because we had discount tickets and another random old man told me how cool he thought my hair was. I am slightly weirded out that the majority of strangers who tell me my purple-pink-whatever the fuck hair looks awesome are old men and ladies. Should I be worried? Anyway, we saw the movie and it was kind of crap. There was zero character development, I didn't give a shit about anyone and when the character WAS well-acted, their CGI-ified bodies distracted me from noticing. As fellow blogger TheUnwashedMass stated so well, Alice has graduated from the Orlando Bloom school of acting in that she is very pretty but has all the charisma of a bag of dead beetles. Johnny Depp turns in a solid performance as a schizophrenic, lisping oftentimes Scottish crazy motherfucker who's lines literally made me cringe in my seat. Alot of the lines and situations are like that, just cringe-worthy and uncomfortable. Anne Hathaway is wasted here as the White Queen, spouting nonsense and gliding on and off screen. She deserves better than this half-baked thing. The story is non-existent, motivations are never explored, and there is a random-as-shit BREAK DANCING SCENE AT THE END. WHAT THE FUCK?! IT GOES FROM EPIC BATTLE TO ONE-MAN IDIOT-FEST WITH TECHNO MUSIC. I WANT THE DRUGS THAT SPAWNED THAT SCENE. All right, all right, positives to the film: Helena Bonham Carter is hilarious as the Red Queen. I liked her best by far. The visuals are spectacular, purposefully cartoony yet very realistic and just fantastic (except for the Mad Hatter's eyes, AGH! I can never be attracted to Johnny Depp again!)

I was hot once...but I have more fun being fodder for nightmares everywhere!

Anyway, Danny Elfman's score stood out to me as the best thing about the movie. He doesn't break any new ground but he doesn't need to, he's Danny Elfman and he poops musical gold. Also, the jabberocky monster spit purple lightning and that was awesome...and that's about all I got. Not worth it, unless you really value the opportunity to yell things like: "yeah, Alice, ride that Bandersnatch!" and "I like...largeness" in which, go see the movie...and also stay the hell away from me. My final verdict: Two catapults out of five. It's a mess, but a visually fun one, with a few jokes and neat scenes here and there but ultimately a trippy waste of time.

Also, just thought I'd mention that the other day, my Stats professor was at it again, going over z-score and confidence-intervals, which I do not understand or care about nearly enough to explain. Suffice to say there was a graph on the board and she pointed to the edges, the farthest away from the mean and was like: "This is the bad area, you do not want it in the bad area...well, I suppose you do want it in the bad area rather than nothing but still..." And the best part continues to be that she has no idea why that sentence is funny.

Oh yeah, you know you want it there, right in the bad area. Right by the z-score that's more than three standard deviations away from the mean. Hawt.

Ok, going to bed now. I promise great treasures and wonders tomorrow! Or at least the goddamn comic. Peace love and hot wings to all!

"The day we beat the Red Queen, I will futterwank most vigorously" -Johnny Depp, Mad Hatter, Alice In Wonderland >.< seriously, what the hell?!

No comments:

Post a Comment

Share the love! Or, alternatively, the hate. Whichever, I'm easy

These Are Also Nice

Related Posts with Thumbnails