Eurgh!! That's right, I just invented a noise. That's where I'm at right now. I'm just so wrung out and tired. I don't have classes on Monday so this is my first real school day since Spring Break and it hit me like a brick wall...on the grille of a double decker bus...filled with fat people...on a planet where the gravity is stronger so things are heavier. Yeah.
WARNING, EMO ALERT, SCROLL DOWN PAST THE PARAGRAPHS OF ANGST IF YOU CAME FOR IRREVERENT HUMOR!!!
Consider yourself sufficiently warned. I have been having weird self-esteem issues lately. I mean I've never been Captain Strong Positive Self-Image but I've always been a believer of fake it til you make it, act confident and confidence will follow blah blah blah. Now I'm starting to think that's a load of crap. I don't feel any more confident in myself or my abilities for all my posturing and such. I feel like every time I make an endeavor to improve my self-esteem, the world takes me down a peg. I try to dress more girly, I look like some weirdly proportioned mutant. I create a deviantart ID for my comics, no one visits my page and I come to realize that compared to everyone else on deviantart I kind of suck. I make this blogomajig and yeah it says I have 700 hits but how much of that is people clicking "next blog" and moving on? I do that scrolling through blogs all the time.
I dunno, I see blogs that have existed like, two weeks longer than me that have 200 followers and I wonder what I'm doing wrong, or if maybe I'm not all that entertaining. And then I start freaking out that I'm a lousy writer, and that's the scariest thing in the world for me because writing's the only thing I've ever been good at. Now I feel like I can't even do that well anymore. Every new thing I create just kind of ends up shitty. Like I'm stuck in an endless cycle of suck. And now I'm whining like a sad teenager on their livejournal but why not? That's what this thing's for, right? If you don't like it (who am I even talking to?) just scroll down to what I'm sure is a funny picture of Sean Connery. I mean, I enjoy this, it's fun, so I'm not going to stop posting, I just needed to get this off my chest, you know? Oy, I thought teen angst stopped when you weren't a teen anymore. No such luck apparently...
WE NOW RETURN TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED SILLINESS
Also this, because if you slogged through the angst, I promised it:
I'm just going to assume that the old woman had it coming to her...
I dunno, that's kind of all the humor in me today. I'm just emo and bummed and freaked out about what I'm going to do after college. >.< can I please be twelve again? Being twelve rocked. No bills, no student fees, no double-digit length papers, old enough to watch James Bond but young enough to have no responsibility apart from cleaning the litter box...wait a minute, I was in middle school when I was twelve...Well fuck that. Ok, there are some perks to being twenty and in college. See you tomorrow, but probably only briefly, as I have a huge Stats test on Thursday that I need to study for. I leave you with even more Sean Connery (may as well be calling this Sean Connery Tuesday) where he shows why he was the best in the business. (also one of the "people in the audience reaction shots" is definitely the lady he's strangling in the picture above O.o)